I seek to be diverted.

I have a US Visa interview this afternoon, and am looking for some diversion for the next 40 minutes at least.

Cannot think of anything more diverting than poking my nose into other people's business.
But my nose is valuable.

So I shall just look inwards and speak out.

I am seeing my friends go through stuff which at the core just comes across as what I have been through.
It is spooky. Like a ghost that visits again and again.

And I think, maybe it is all about middle age after all?

Approaching old age is not pleasant - for most of us.

Maybe we are just worried we shall die; without having done all that we set out to do with youthful vigour.

Maybe fanning our aspirations, to the magnitude that we have done, is something our failing bodies are not going to be able to cope with.

Maybe it is all of that. Anyway, it needs some adjustments- to accept one's finiteness.

Acknowledgement helps.

But when I say "I feel old" most of my friends jump up and down, denying it. My parents absolutely disagree.

The idea of a "struggle" is so romantic - I think people just hang on to it. For dear life.

To be in a state of violent "struggle" is ..... well..... obscene. That is the word that springs to my mind,

I am not out of sync with those who want to stick to the belief that life goes on till the very end. In fact I am happy to believe that life goes on, even beyond death.

But not in the same way it began.

I think it would be graceful to accept this reality.

And re-negotiate life's process as it were.

Mate it to the fact that the current parameters are different from what they were , and the new process must be designed to deal with rapidly changing realities of the future.