Sorry if I rattled you!

I was in considerable difficulty- leaving Arjun after six months was bad bad bad! I have not been with him for this long, anytime after he left for college. I missed him- sure. I just did not know how much.

In fact I cannot understand how this business of "letting go" and "spaces" can be this highly recommended.I like my friends and family to be close to me- and that is that. Separation and distance is a compromise I make for money- and I acknowledge that that is an important part of being alive.

But that is all it is- a part of being alive.

Once I have enough to survive on, I'd rather compromise on the quality of material life than go on this spiritual starvation that even my own family has been recommending as a "sensible and balanced" approach.

Face book works so well for me, because I feel close mentally to people who are far away- and sometimes who I have not even met physically.

I am because you are.

Thanks for your mails- the ones you wrote to me discreetly. Love you for that too.

I am better now. The inevitability of the visa expiring in six months is the only one that makes this possible. The hopelessness of the situation helped me deal with it with composure. Tomorrow I shall probably agonize over it again- because I miss Arjun!

But that is the way I feel - differently about the same thing.