Inspired by you- 1/1/2010

My dear Sairam,

I wonder if you had a chance to listen to Himanshu ji's talk on the Tehalka Platform for which I posted links on face book and on the blog.

What I understand is that something needs to be done about the situation - not only for tribals but for the poor and dispossessed people. Not only because we want to help or we feel compassion but because all the commentary we hear is showing that the violence is spilling all over the place, and we cannot afford to be thus inundated- it is not safe.

When the majority of people feel hopeless they have no idea of what they can have, then how can you talk?

eg if the tribal just wants to be left alone, and as that means leaving his land and environment alone too, we have to ensure he has a change of mind or heart in our favour.

Is education going to achieve this?

I know what my education was intended for. I expected to be schooled in an English Medium school, and do Engineering so I could get a good job, beat the boys, be equal to the men, earn money, and be independent.

What is the aspiration of the tribal?

If he wants development and success now, like the rest of the material world does, it is unlikely to come to him from education.It can only be looted.

Education cannot really come to him at speed or with the effort he is capable of putting.

I never wanted to go to school or college. My parents coaxed, cajoled, lured, and threatened me to go.

I do not know anyone who wants to do anything if they can have what they want without doing it.

Today, education is required for everyone- but it is not going to deliver aspirations for the tribal in the the way it does for my child. In a competitive world education is an essential, but it is not enough is what I observe.

I mean look at the difference within my lifetime. In my father's times, engineering was great education. In my times it was a good idea, and now it is just a basic degree.

What else can be done is the question. There have to be ways of earning money without education or with some quick education at best. Or the rich have to spend a part of their money to keep the poor sedated, entertained, busy or just very hungry.

You have said that Himanshu ji's work is inspirational and commendable. That is not very clear to me. What are you inspired to do?

Are you saying that a fast for purification is a good idea? I want to know if you have ever tried to fast for purification.

For myself, I know I hardly ever feel impure- except when I am angry. And staying hungry only makes me feel weak which takes care of the anger because that needs energy. Maybe that is why the poor do not get too angry. So maybe we should consciously starve everyone who is creating trouble. What do you say?

Now I saw Himanshu ji smiling after 5 days of fasting. He was saying yesterday that he felt fine- and I was like horrified. I thought it was because he had not eaten for 5 days and he was loosing it. But today he is lucid- he says he is not feeling hungry anymore. My conclusion is that he is really really angry, and his smile is an essential facade required in society.

I think I shall never know what hunger is. I have always had food at hand. The idea of starvation is meaningless.

But being deprived is something I can understand. And being deprived of something I love and need very much, to be happy, to be at peace is something I understand quite well.

Off hand I can think of many things which I must have, and not having them drives me violent. I think all of us can make that link and appreciate the level of difficulty, even if we have not actually had an experience.

Satyen, who is with Himanshu ji wanted to know what people who are not there can do. Well to begin with they can give up something which helps them understand deprivation. And they can at least imagine some similar bad things happening to a loved one as are happening to the tribals - what would they do if they were far away.

We can stop saying that we will and do live for our own happiness, that it is okay to be thinking only of oneself and one's physical family, because that is all we can afford.

I appreciate that we cannot always relate with everyone in the world in the same way that we relate with our family. When I hear news of Arjun's sickness I am more moved than I am on hearing about yours.Even a small think like his cold and fever makes me feel restless- though he is 26. You have to be sicker for me to take notice and call you.

But Sairam, I know I ask Arjun after your well being. Mostly I try and keep tab on what is happening to people around me- even those who are not linked to me any more. And with whom I may have no defined relationship ever in the future.

I think it is important to increase my range, because the bad things happening very far away affect my life finally.

I know people whose life is affected by terrorists, but they still insist on not thinking beyond their wife child parents, at the most siblings. If a group of people has become a threat to another group of people, I think all those who hear of it have to do something.

You are already doing it, by participating here. And those who are reading this letter are also doing something. So I am not suggesting a radical change in lifestyle, but just a daily discipline of thinking about others.

If everyone was to think of something they could do to spread the word- well that would be one sureshot good thing to do. The media may be silent or not make enough noise about the poor, but the internet is free for everyone to be a media person on.

Maybe this link can be pasted, maybe you can forward something on the issue of the tribals in Bastar. Or talk about how we are the ruling class- and we must think and talk of those we rule.

On 1/1/2010, and every day after, YOU could do one thing in pursuit of someone else's happiness- if you chose to do so.

I think the education you speak of needs to happen to people who are capable of being educated- and who better than myself- this year?

Cheers
smita

Can we be Kabir please?

Dear Himanshu ji

Today I am thinking of the film Guide- bachao re- is all I can think of.

I am not going to let this go by without taking a step back to see what is happening. And maybe even laugh a little.As a friend I hope I am able to be responsible and not goad you to over stretch.

At the same time I also hope you are able to be responsible and not imagine yourself as a messiah for anyone. Popular support can sometimes do that to people. And I am sure it is exciting to be called Gandhi. It would freak me out considerably.

I hope you will remember that you are not- Gandhi I mean. And you are not fighting an alien power for independence. You are standing in a war zone, and refusing to move out. Because many people are also stuck there. But you and they were not born with the proverbial Kawach.

I would like to share with you that others here, away from Dantewada are also thinking of you. Being an outsider does give us a perspective that is impossible for you and the others who are there with you physically present in the fast to have.

Of course there is the possibility that I am being very cynical. In which case, just go on and do what you must- but I do think that there is a visible adulation in the voices that are supporting you. A bad idea in that it puts some other people off very badly. For example For me it is almost embarrassing to have someone tell me that you are Gandhi- I mean you may have the potential for that kind of greatness. But I think everyone is potentially that way - there is as much a Durga in me as Gandhi in you, and believing that landed me into considerable trouble.

I think those kind of accolades and comparisons are best offered posthumously. Arjun pointed out to me on my trip to Yamunotri that moksha would happen only when I died.

Your fast is definitely helping people who are on the internet think more about the situation in the region. But to me this is only an indication that people who are outside must and can participate in the lives of people who are remote, and different. It shows me that compassion is felt by people who to me seemed indifferent a few years back. It tells me that you are an excellent catalyst to bring out emotion in people who had difficulty expressing solidarity with a people they really did not understand.

Your fasting has provided everyone an opportunity to gather together, and focus.

I am concerned that you might assume a leadership - which might turn out to be too much when the fast is over. I hope all the people who are participating now will also think of a strategy to continue to participate after the fast is over.

There is no demand that you have made, and so there is no successful conclusion of this process unless the process is defined. What I mean is that unless there is a sharing of future responsibilities and concenrs this issue could just get linked with you personally Himanshu ji.

And I think no one person is capable of being leader. Also many people who are your contemporaries may not be able to be lead the way some others can. In fact an assumed leadership may work towards alienating them.

What then would I consider support, and not detrimental? Perhaps if there were some discussions about the readiness of the tribals themselves. Or the direction that future solidarity can take. And the way the other leaders in their own sphere can contribute.


Of course I might be wrong.So I am posting this on various places- for people to comment. The blog allows anonymous comments as well. Also if anyone thinks this post should be shared with someone they know, please pass on.

I would be happy to have people tell me I am wrong.

Silence does not speak to me. I am just not made that clever. Time teaches me nothing about the future. All my experience has taught me is to go on talking- so I request others to speak up too.

Cheers

Smita

Statutory warning- sharing sorrow

It is a State of confusion- we all want to do the right things. But it is difficult to choose what is best at this time. When action has been delayed for so long, it is impossible to expect things to be well by virtue of an apology and a positive intent.

Years of neglect will have to be paid for.

But who will pay? And who will pay more than the others?

No one can be sure of that. There will be many surprises- mostly painful ones.

Turbulence is on. Seat-belts can be fastened- but who knows who survived until he is out of the eye of the storm.

And this one in Chhattisgarh is big, brutal and definitely not brief.

Those who have more stand to loose more.

Himanshu ji is better off now that his material acquisitions are gone. I did post earlier about the demolition of Vanvasi Chetna Ashram.

It is almost funny in retrospect, to have the same things happen to so many people I know- one would think that a problem that repeats itself might be easy to address with the passing of time, and the repetitive nature of the problem.

But clearly it is difficult to learn. And practically impossible to learn without making the same mistakes- and not many people learn even then.

Himanshu ji is one of the more eminent of the many people I know who are trying to do something in an area where not much has been done.

Sometimes people in his situation want to protest.

I find that worrying. It is a head banging exercise and in my experience it can only result in damage to the head, if there is a wall that one is hitting against.

The other frightening phrase is for a War on Terror. When the powerful are the more terrorized, I think they declare wars. To me it looks like a seasonal sale for arms and ammunition.

For those who are keen to know more, there are some photo essays that are not for people who want to pursue only happiness.- http://www.lightstalkers.org/galleries/slideshow/20348.

Jao Wahan na jaane kahaan, Lao Wah na jaane kya.

Dear Himanshu ji,

I am quite relieved - having spoken to you it is great to know that you too do not have any expectations of any demands being met by the powers that be.

Naxals or the Government.

I mean they are right now quite busy fighting each other, and you can only be collateral damage.I thought you were going to be rather easily available meat for the vultures- any kind of self destruct would be just making it easy on them.

So I am happy you are only going to fast for self purification and you have no demands of anyone.No point asking when the other has nothing to offer you.

Bravo!

I feel very sorry for the media though. Imagine, someone plans a story around Himanshu ji's hunger strike- it would have been such fun if it was a fast unto death.

Now, what are they going to write about? I suggest they use this title from Russian Fairy Tales. Ivan in his quest for Vasileesa is given a task - Jao Wahan na jaane kahaan, Lao Wah na jaane kya. ( Go there, no one knows where, Bring that no one knows What)

I remember Ivan used to set off with his three caps of iron copper and brass ( or some strong material available at that time!), and three sets of shoes and a ball of yarn. He would let the ball open up, and show him the way. And he would walk and walk as the yarn opened up, until his caps and his shoes were worn down.

I don't know what if anything you will find at the end of it all, but I do know the journey shall be interesting.

I think I am with you on this one!!
Cheers
Smita

Sorry if I rattled you!

I was in considerable difficulty- leaving Arjun after six months was bad bad bad! I have not been with him for this long, anytime after he left for college. I missed him- sure. I just did not know how much.

In fact I cannot understand how this business of "letting go" and "spaces" can be this highly recommended.I like my friends and family to be close to me- and that is that. Separation and distance is a compromise I make for money- and I acknowledge that that is an important part of being alive.

But that is all it is- a part of being alive.

Once I have enough to survive on, I'd rather compromise on the quality of material life than go on this spiritual starvation that even my own family has been recommending as a "sensible and balanced" approach.

Face book works so well for me, because I feel close mentally to people who are far away- and sometimes who I have not even met physically.

I am because you are.

Thanks for your mails- the ones you wrote to me discreetly. Love you for that too.

I am better now. The inevitability of the visa expiring in six months is the only one that makes this possible. The hopelessness of the situation helped me deal with it with composure. Tomorrow I shall probably agonize over it again- because I miss Arjun!

But that is the way I feel - differently about the same thing.